Social butterfly or social whore?
I know, I know, I didn't want to say bad words here, but 'social whore' is just a phrase commonly used, to which I am referring. The concept of being social comes up everywhere. Certain types of jobs require you to communicate extensively with all different types of people. Starting from a young age, we see the 'clicks' break up in school: jocks, nerds, preps...these all contribute to the social breakdown of children within the school, which in turn determines popularity.
Is there a difference between the terms 'social butterfly' and 'social whore'? Is there a big difference, or just a very fine line?
I for one, think the two terms are very different. Personally, I started becoming very social at the start of college, went through a small period of withdrawal, and then returned to my largely social state. Prior to college, I wasn't very social at all. To me, being social does not indicate any sort of status, nor do I meet people just to expand my social circle and claim to know so many people. I like meeting people because different people teach me different things. I make friends from different parts of the country, either through an educational institution, through other friends, or through travel. I make friends through groups and organizations I am a member of. I learn different things about character, culture, and a variety of other things from each person. To me, meeting people is fun and interesting to me. Every person I have met so far is so different from me and from each other. Some are good to talk about technical things with, others are good to go out with and have fun, others are humorous and provide a good laugh, others are capable of helping me understand things such as another language. For that reason, I enjoy being social and communicating with many different people.
However, I do not consider all of these people 'close' or 'good friends' by any means. I do not open up easily to people, and I do not say too much to even people who I may consider 'close'. Many of my friends can vouch for that. Not too many people know my deepest, darkest secrets or the worst of my qualities or the most embarrassing moments in my life. Likewise, not many people know what makes me the happiest. The two or three people who do know this, are the people I consider closest to me and the people I feel comfortable sharing that with.
I had always liked helping people. I liked how it made me feel and I liked knowing that it made them feel good too. I did a lot of volunteer work when I was younger. I loved doing it. That was all part of being 'social'.
In any event, my point is that these are all 'positive' qualities [in as light a sense of the word] of being social. A 'social whore' is someone who is social merely [or mostly] for the status and for the attention. They are people who are social for the main purpose of expanding their 'social circle'. I have never been that, and will never be that.
I remember observing my father when I was younger, who had a certain air about him that made him so like-able to people. People wanted to know my father, and he was someone who enjoyed being social and knowing other people as well. The person who most exemplified the term 'social butterfly' to my knowledge was my grandfather. I knew he was incredibly social as long as I knew him, but the extent to which he was social really came out after he passed away. I was amazed at the connections he had, the people he knew, and how he managed to keep in touch with all of them and help all of them until he couldn't anymore. When I was younger, I wanted very much to be like him, and like my father, in more ways than one. Being social was a big part of it. It's something I was never able to do until going off to college, and once I finally got the hang of it, I didn't want to let go of it.
However, I've noticed I'm much less social these days. Perhaps a good part of it has to do with the fact that I am so far from any friend, even acquaintance who I know. However, I have noticed that even when I have opportunities to call friends and reach out to people and regain touch with those who I have not spoken to in sometime, I would rather not. Maybe it's just a phase, but I actually like having minimal touch with people these days.
Anyway, not to lose focus of the argument between 'social butterfly' and 'social whore'. Actually, I think I'm getting sleepy and starting to become incoherent, so I'll save the rest of what I have to say about this for some other time...
Is there a difference between the terms 'social butterfly' and 'social whore'? Is there a big difference, or just a very fine line?
I for one, think the two terms are very different. Personally, I started becoming very social at the start of college, went through a small period of withdrawal, and then returned to my largely social state. Prior to college, I wasn't very social at all. To me, being social does not indicate any sort of status, nor do I meet people just to expand my social circle and claim to know so many people. I like meeting people because different people teach me different things. I make friends from different parts of the country, either through an educational institution, through other friends, or through travel. I make friends through groups and organizations I am a member of. I learn different things about character, culture, and a variety of other things from each person. To me, meeting people is fun and interesting to me. Every person I have met so far is so different from me and from each other. Some are good to talk about technical things with, others are good to go out with and have fun, others are humorous and provide a good laugh, others are capable of helping me understand things such as another language. For that reason, I enjoy being social and communicating with many different people.
However, I do not consider all of these people 'close' or 'good friends' by any means. I do not open up easily to people, and I do not say too much to even people who I may consider 'close'. Many of my friends can vouch for that. Not too many people know my deepest, darkest secrets or the worst of my qualities or the most embarrassing moments in my life. Likewise, not many people know what makes me the happiest. The two or three people who do know this, are the people I consider closest to me and the people I feel comfortable sharing that with.
I had always liked helping people. I liked how it made me feel and I liked knowing that it made them feel good too. I did a lot of volunteer work when I was younger. I loved doing it. That was all part of being 'social'.
In any event, my point is that these are all 'positive' qualities [in as light a sense of the word] of being social. A 'social whore' is someone who is social merely [or mostly] for the status and for the attention. They are people who are social for the main purpose of expanding their 'social circle'. I have never been that, and will never be that.
I remember observing my father when I was younger, who had a certain air about him that made him so like-able to people. People wanted to know my father, and he was someone who enjoyed being social and knowing other people as well. The person who most exemplified the term 'social butterfly' to my knowledge was my grandfather. I knew he was incredibly social as long as I knew him, but the extent to which he was social really came out after he passed away. I was amazed at the connections he had, the people he knew, and how he managed to keep in touch with all of them and help all of them until he couldn't anymore. When I was younger, I wanted very much to be like him, and like my father, in more ways than one. Being social was a big part of it. It's something I was never able to do until going off to college, and once I finally got the hang of it, I didn't want to let go of it.
However, I've noticed I'm much less social these days. Perhaps a good part of it has to do with the fact that I am so far from any friend, even acquaintance who I know. However, I have noticed that even when I have opportunities to call friends and reach out to people and regain touch with those who I have not spoken to in sometime, I would rather not. Maybe it's just a phase, but I actually like having minimal touch with people these days.
Anyway, not to lose focus of the argument between 'social butterfly' and 'social whore'. Actually, I think I'm getting sleepy and starting to become incoherent, so I'll save the rest of what I have to say about this for some other time...
posted by Writer Through Life... at 11:09 PM
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