Dramatic Hinderances...

[in order to understand some of (but not all of) the contents of this post, you should be familiar with the contents of my last post :o)...]

It always amazes me how people can turn something that's not at all intended to be what they may think it is, into exactly that! (If that makes sense at all). I could make the most generalized statements, but they are somehow assumed to be directed towards a particular person, proceed to cause confusion, end up in argument, and a waste of time for both members!

My last post was not particularly directed towards any one person; however, it was possible for certain people to turn it into just that. Why create a situation that does not even exist? Is that necessary? Isn't it such a waste of time? Haha, I seem to think many things are a waste of time, don't I? But the thing is, it's true.

A greater portion of our lives than we choose to admit, is wasted away in blaming others, creating situations that cease to exist, or indulging in things that a) are not our business or b) are a waste of time.

It frustrates me when simple things are blown entirely out of proportion. I make general statements, that possibly, coincidentally, hit home. That, in NO way means I am advertising anything to the world about a particular person. My posts are always just going to be generalizations, things I have noticed, experienced, etc. If I specifically state a name of a person, then, well obviously, the post is about that person. But if I don't, just accept it for what it is: a pure rambling of my incoherent thoughts.

As for my last post: I was pleased with the response I received through various IMs or emails. I'm glad that the majority of you agree with me. Now I don't know if you were just saying that to please me, but I will choose to assume not; if those people really didn't agree with me, there was no need for them to IM me in the first place. So I was happy to see that the majority shared my views.

For those of you who didn't: my point was not to offend you in any way at all. It was just my personal viewpoint, along with my reasons for holding that viewpoint. If I offended anyone by saying what I did, well I am sorry that you found it offensive, but I don't apologize for writing that post. I do have the right to express my thoughts, and that is the purpose of any blog. I don't want to be fake here, so be forewarned that there may be things written that you don't agree with. Either discuss them with me in a mature manner, or choose not to read it. Nobody is forcing you to look at this. (And I don't mean to come across as "harsh" either...but know that I am who I am and that is exactly what you will see here).

Another clarification about my previous post: I was addressing things such as flings, "friends with benefits" (which I will never understand the logic behind), "relationships" into which both people enter, knowing that it will end after a certain period of time, etc. I was NOT addressing things such as relationships which have a possible future, but end due to unforeseen circumstances. I thought I had made this clear in my last post itself, but it seemed that there was some confusion amongst a few people, so I thought I would make it clear to anyone who may still be confused or may have merely misinterpreted my writing.

Just a small pointer: If a comment made to a general audience does not blatantly address you, DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU! I guarantee it will avoid a lot of discrepencies in the future. :o)

I think that after a certain point in time, it's almost impossible to mold the way a person acts, thinks, feels, etc. After the mid-teenage years, people are almost fully developed in terms of their actions. The way they react to certain situations, are most probably the way they will act throughout their life in other similar situations. Sometimes, it takes something horrible or drastic for some people to change the way they act; often times those drastic happenings are irreversible, no matter how much a person wishes it were. It's unfortunate, but it's true. And if that's what it takes for some people to mature, then so be it. But I sure hope that it does not have to reach that point for all people.

I've realized that all of us have fallen victim at one point or another for becoming angry with someone who is trying to tell us something for our own good. I admit it. I'm a stubborn girl who never accepts at first that I'm wrong. I have gotten angry many times at people who do care about me and point out a mistake I have committed. Sometimes, I realize when it is too late that these people were only pointing out the truth. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think that all of us, sometimes, just need to take a deep breath, and assess for ourselves the situations that we are currently in. At the end of the day, we need to go through in our minds all the things we did that day, the things we said, and compare them to what we know to be right and wrong, good and bad, etc. That way, the next time we get angry at someone who is telling us something only for our own good, we will have our own morals in sight.

Although I don't think this is true ALL the time, I think sometimes when we hide things from those who care about us, it is because we know it is the wrong thing to do. We know that if they try and advise us against it, it's because it really isn't in our best interest, we just don't want to be reminded of that.

Unfortunately, there are those who don't even think that. They truly believe that those who try and advise us are just out to get us and make our lives miserable and there is just no explanation for it. I have nothing to say to people like that.

I realize my thoughts are all over the place in this post, but I'm not going to bother going back and organizing them properly. All-in-all, my points are basically:

• don't create drama (unnecessary situations) that aren't already in existence...it saves a lot of time and energy.
• if someone makes a general comment, feel free to object, but do NOT take it personally and invite "pity" for yourself (by, for example, announcing to one person or even a group of people, that someone has wronged you, when that is not the case at all). Realize that differences in opinions do exist and nobody is out to attack you on purpose unless he/she outwardly says he/she is.
• When people who care about us try and tell us something that may not be what we want to hear, don't lash out and say something you will regret. Take it to be a honest, strong piece of advice that may prove to be helpful to us. I doubt they are telling it to us to ruin our lives!
• Sometimes, it is just impossible to drive a point across to someone. When this happens, DON'T blame yourself. You have most probably tried your best to help that person, and at that point, as hard as it might be for you to accept, he/she will just have to learn it the hard way. And when they do, and if it is through something you wish hadn't happened, don't blame yourself then either. It had to happen.

Drama just holds us back. Creating something that does not need to be there, wastes our time and energy, both of which can be put to use by doing something that will help us in some way or another.

As my last and final thought: COMMUNICATION IS KEY!! If you have a problem with something that someone said, HAVE A MATURE DISCUSSION ABOUT IT! Don't assume things, ignore that person, and make matters that much worse.

Well, I think I've just about covered everything that I was aiming to cover through this post. So, with that, I think I'll sign out for the day!

(Ironically, I fear I will have to make this clear as well, but no, this post is not directed towards any one person, so please do not assume so...just, as I mentioned earlier, a mere straggling of what exists in my mind).