deja vu + nostalgia + ???

I've been having this very strange sense of deja vu throughout today. Granted, the past few months I've been experiencing deja vu more than ever before, but today seems to stick out for some reason. It's a very odd feeling that I'm not quite able to explain.

Anyway, it's been an interesting day. I've been cleaning out my room and getting it packed up. My closet has boxes with papers and things I have done or written since I was 6 or 7 years old [my age when we first moved to my current residence]. I don't think I have taken out these boxes and seen all these items since the time I actually packed them away into those boxes. I've come across pictures I drew, poems I wrote, and short stories I created. Old social studies projects and science lab reports are in there from grade school. I even found the little notebook I kept as my diary when I was a girl. I started reading it, but didn't finish because there was so much in there that I had practically pushed out of my head already, and reading it was only bringing all of that back. So on top of feeling deja vu all day, I've been feeling slightly [not too much] nostalgic as well. Time certainly flies [not that I'm a fan of predefined idioms].

Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the fact that I really need a change/break and am counting down the days/minutes until I get to Troy [as pathetic as that sounds, yes I am eager to get back to Troy], or maybe it's just that I have too many things going on at the same time and trying to handle them all doesn't always work, but I've found myself fairly thoughtful over the past couple days. There are things I want to say, maybe just to one person, maybe to many, but my stubborness refuses to allow me to do so. I wonder if it's better to keep my mouth shut [which I have found works quite well in some situations], or if I should speak my mind out regardless of what may [or may not be] the consequence[s]. Maybe we should always say whatever we want to say. I know there were things I wanted to say to my grandfather, but by the time I made that decision, it was too late and he was gone. Now, I wonder if this is going to be the first thing I may possibly regret in my life. Maybe it's best to just say things we want to say, instead of waiting for the "right time" [which may never happen according to what you believe is the "right time"] or instead of deciding never to say it [and then wishing later on you had].

Now I'm off to the "little India" of New Jersey, aka Edison.