Turning point

What is "love"? Is it even something we can define? Maybe we can't- but I know what love is not. I'm so tired of hearing "he completes me" or "she is my better half" or "he makes up for my shortcomings", etc. etc. Why does it have to be that way? Why can't it be one complete person, and another complete person, together simply because they enjoy each other's company? You know, you don't even need to spend every waking second together. You could see each other everyday, you could see each other once every few months. You could talk everyday, or you could talk once a week. In theory, it shouldn't make a difference. In theory or in reality, nobody needs anybody else. That's all in your mind. If you do "need" someone, then it just means you are not ready for a relationship/marriage/whatever it is you are pursuing. You need to be happy with who you are, and satisfied with yourself as a person before taking on anything with anybody.

I'm pretty sure most of you are sitting there looking at this thinking, "what the hell is she talking about?" And those of you who know me extremely well, know that for a short period of time, this is certainly not what my thoughts were like. I "believed" in "love", yes. "Believed". I think I was more in love with the idea of feeling like there was someone else who could relate to me. At that point, I was so confused about everything in general, everything in my life, and everything in between. Nothing made sense to me. I know I've changed a lot since as recently as last year. I know that upon the initial realization of my change, I was thrown off and didn't necessarily like this change. It was hard to grasp the fact that I was changing as a person, and I immediately associated "change" with "bad", since it is often what I end up witnessing in other situations. I know I've gone through at least one drastic change in the past, but that actually was good for me for a period of time.

We don't need anybody to complete us. We need to complete ourselves. If you can't stand on your own, you are in deep, deep trouble.

I think I've finally started figuring myself out much better. Actually, I don't think so. I know so. I'm happy with the person I am turning into/have turned into. I've become stronger. I've become more independent. Things can only get better from here on in. Granted, there was a time in my life when I needed "crutches" to help me stand up. But I'm healed and more ready than ever to take on what I need to take on by myself. I want my decisions to be mine alone, without the influence of anybody else. This is my life. Time for me to live it to its fullest. Time for me to take things at my pace.

It's only the beginning, and I can't wait to see what's in store next. I have no regrets, and I won't have any regrets in the future. Of this, I am certain.