Confused and angry...

I am not quite sure how to even approach this topic, so I am going to cut right to the point.

In India, both my mother's side of the family and my father's side of the family have a driver as well as a maid who both come everyday to the house; the driver is responsible for helping the family run errands and drive each member of the family to places he/she needs to go, and the maid obviously cleans the house.

The driver on my mother's side of the family, has a daughter. She's my age- 20 years old. It seems as though she had run off with an auto rikshaw driver (auto rikshaws are comparable to taxis in New York City) and married him without telling her family ahead of time.

When her father (our driver) came to know about his daughter's actions, he was shocked and devastated, to say the least. The auto driver was not the kind of person he had planned for his only daughter to marry; he had expected something more for her.

My mother's family (my grandmother, uncle, aunt, grandfather, etc.) spoke to the driver, calmed him down, and helped him to accept his daughter, her new husband, and her new family. They told him that she was his only daughter, and her happiness was important. By not accepting her decision, it would be terrible for her in her new family, as her inlaws would obviously give her a hard time (they would feel as though her father thought they were not good enough for her and her family).

My grandmother told us afterwards that things were all right; he had accepted his daughter's decision, and even went to her new family's house with gifts and kind words.

Just days after, unable to truly accept his daughter's marriage and come to terms with this, he has committed suicide.

I do not know how to remotely think or feel about this. What about the driver's family? His wife? How is she to support herself? I do not believe she has a job, and the only money came from her husband's job as my family's driver. Although my family has given the family quite a bit of extra money to help them support themselves, is this enough? What is to become of them?

What about his daughter? Imagine what she must be going through. Imagine how crushed she must feel inside, how much she must be blaming herself for her father's death. She is a 20-year old girl. I know if this had happened to me, I would certainly be blaming myself. I am not sure what I would even do in such a position...

I'm just confused and angry...and that's that...

My First Entry...

So, I suppose I have finally succumbed to the infamous blog that I see almost everyone I know using. I'm not quite sure how this will work out, and considering I have absolutely no free time these days, it should be interesting to track just exactly how often I am able to update this.

Today was nothing special; just a normal day in the middle of Hicksville (Little Rock, Arkansas).

Here are a list of the to 10 common errors/misconceptions I have noticed most of the "Yankees" (all you folks up north...Yup, that's what we're called...Yankees), have about Arkansas:

1) Cows are NOT neighbors of people who live down here
2) Arkansas is NOT in a different country, it is in fact part of the United States (yes I know this is hard to swallow)...
3) People don't like George Bush any more than the rest of us up north do
4) The abbreviation for Arkansas is not "AK" (this belongs to Alaska), but rather, "AR"
5)Yes, people do actually live here...
6) Yes, people ARE familiar with technology
7) No, people do not travel by buggy and horse
8) People are actually more liberal than you would expect
9) T-mobile DOES work here (for all you RPI losers who make fun of my T-mobile service...it even works down here!!! Troy, NY is retarded)
10) Teenagers do NOT go to their local farm to "hang out"

In other news...

My summer has been quite productive. I've been working, taking a few classes, doing quite a bit of writing, as well as working on a sculpture entailing the head and bust of Mahalakshmi (the Hindu goddess of wealth, for all of you who are not familiar with who she is). I published my first short story on www.desijournal.com which was exciting for me, and I'm simultaneously working on three other short stories and a novel which I hope to publish. Check out my website at www.smrithi.vze.com.

However, I would have to say one of the most frustrating things, is being in an unfurnished, one-bedroom apartment with both my parents and my brother. Talk about claustrophobia!

So, today, my family and I went to go do some shopping. We're walking around this place called the Garden Ridge (somewhat like a large wholesale club-type atmosphere), and my father says, "Smrithi, your hair is dark brown." Of course, this was to say that it was not black, but dark brown. Now, this comment would have been perfectly acceptable coming out of the mouth of someone who had met me for the first time that day. But from my father who has known me for 20 years? Not only was this an issue, but he failed to remember that he has made the same comment 3 times in the past year. Memory-loss occurring as a part of aging? Possibly.

Anyway, that's enough for a first entry, don't you think? More to come from this gal later 8-)